Tribute to My Mom, a Working Woman

Bonnie Lea Barnes Meadows 2-25-16

My mother, Bonnie Lea Barnes Meadow, is more than the little elderly woman you see now. One of her biggest fears was ever having to sit in a wheelchair. And now, there she is… the mere image of the vibrant, busy, slow down for nothing, woman she once was. She sits and sometimes pulls herself up, but always needs help. After she began falling several years ago, she quit using her walker. She lost her nerve, especially after so many falls. She refused to keep trying. Now, she is wheelchair bound. She is however, still spunky and sassy as ever.

Her first job, was when she was around 26. We moved to Manassas, VA, and she found a job at a Taco Belle. I was only about 8 years old, and it was a temporary move. We rented a house on the Bull Run, in a nice little neighborhood. After about 6 months or so, we moved back to Jewell Ridge, VA.

A few years later we moved back to northern Virginia. She was around 28 years old; a mother of 4, with a toddler. She took him to the babysitters every day and went on to work. It had to be hard for her to maintain a home, which included making sure that all 6 of us, (me, dad, my sister, my two brothers, and herself) had all our needs met. I was 10 at that time, so I helped out with house hold chores, except washing clothes. We only had a wringer type washer, so Mom was afraid I would get hurt.

She worked in a factory in Remington, VA that made plastic trash bags. She and Daddy both worked there for several years. After that, they both went to work at a different factory, constructed modular homes. Both factories were in Remington, VA, right beside of the railroad tracks, so the train cars were used to ship the finished products all over the United States. I would hear them talk about their work, but never really went there. I just knew, they were both extremely tired and Mom would be rather fussy – due to working so hard. 

Once, some time during my early teens, Mom went to work at a quaint little dress shop in downtown Remington, VA. She loved it, and the owner adored her. She kept bringing really nice dresses home, until she and dad figured out that she was mostly working there to pay for those dresses. I am sure I would have done the same; we women tend to love pretty dresses.

Later, she worked at restaurants. I recall a place called, Tiki Fala, located in middle of the Dumfries, VA Town shopping center. It was quite unique, serving mostly oriental cuisine. The food was always delicious. It was constantly busy with swarms of customers, especially during the lunch and dinner rush… so she worked there as a waitress for years. The tips were good, but the hourly rate of pay was very low. Only a small amount was deducted to a pay into her Social Security.

Another place Mom worked was Momma’s Diner, on route 17, near Fredericksburg, VA. It was just a small family restaurant, famous for serving home cooked country food. She loved it there, and spent many years, serving up plates of food and drink to anyone that came by to eat. She also worked at several other restaurants, including a Pizza Hut in Woodbridge, VA. 

In addition, sometime in her 50’s, Mom took on several different care-giver type jobs to stay with and take care of elderly women in their home. In between she kept working at various restaurants.

Even when she was in her late 60’s and early 70’s she worked for a catering company. They picked her up at her house and took her with them to the Quantico Marine base in Quantico, VA to cater to the Marines. She would leave her house very early in the mornings and get back late in the evenings. She was so proud of herself to still be working.

Now, after all those years she is very disabled. Rheumatoid Arthritis set in on both knees and the medication she had to take caused dizziness. This is, most likely, why she started falling so much.

My Mom struggled to keep working one way or the other her whole life. At one point, when her knees were so bad, she applied for Social Security Disability and was denied. She deserves credit for all the years she did work and was an active participant in the workforce. Although she paid very little in to her old age Social Security due to the waitress work, we helped her apply for Daddy’s pension. For several years she tried living on $600 per month. It is hard to imagine, working your whole life and not being able to afford to live half way decent at the end of it.

A few years ago, she was denied knee replacements by the PACE program doctor, although other doctor’s had approved it. Her insurance is through PACE, and it covers everything. She continues to get weaker as time goes by, just sitting in her wheelchair and relying on others to take care of her. My heart breaks knowing there is nothing else I can do to help her. She knows I have tried to give her the best quality of life possible during the past few years that she actually became unable to walk or get up and down on her own.

Now, when you see my mother, please remember she was once a strong, vibrant, working woman, who enjoyed working. Of course she was among what we now call the “working class poor”. Either way, she paid her way. She earned every dime she could and gave back, even when she hardly had anything to give. I am proud of my mother and want to make sure she knows I have not forgotten about what a hard worker she was. 

Thank you Mom, I love you! 
Your daughter, 
Diana